duties

so i am sitting in jury duty and bored to death with the book i am reading, eat pray love. so far i haven't finished the eat part and hoping things pick up at pray. it has its moments, but if a chick flick could be a book this would be it. she is whinning about her divorce and never knowing her real self when really all she needs is a drinking problem like me.

the book has conjured up my favorite daydream of running away with chris to continually travel and explore the world. i just wrote chris and suggested we empty our retirement packages and runaway together until the money runs out. is that too revolutionary road? you know, without the homespun abortion.

god jury duty is so fucking boring. can't we just videoconference this shit? i could be comfortable at home enjoying a nice snack of reduced fat cheez its (which i prefer over their fatty sibling, regular cheez its) and wait until my skype rings to do my civic duty. where is obama when you really need him?

the video at the beginning of jury duty did provide some comic relief. it starts with a reenactment of a witch dunking (i am not making this up) with the question posed to the viewer - is this really justice? umm, alright maybe its not justice, but it is certainly more entertaining then sitting here and smelling the dander of the old white man next to me (mental note: beyond 50 i need to start wearing cologne again).

next diane sawyer circa 1992 walks us through the magical world on ny state supreme court. oh what a thrill! she also tells us what each member of the court does, like all of us have been living in a space vacuum and haven't seen an episode of law and order. and speaking of that, this would be a lot more fulfilling if they used the law and order sound effect to puncture the thick air of dull in this courthouse. and continuing on the themes of improvement, this place needs an air hockey table...and a wet bar if you ask me. let me tell you i will put all of these suggestions in the box and you can thank me when your turn comes and your enjoying a g and t while listening to the electric hum of the air hockey table waiting for serve out your own personal civic duty.